(Apologies for hotlinking the image.)

Also, the Yankees were twice as many games back in the AL wild-card race (7) as the Baltimore Orioles (3).

As a former Massachusetts resident, I believe a “HA-ha!” is in order here.

Anyway, I was telling the nice lady on the other end of the phone that it wouldn’t be a problem for us to replace the RAM in the G5; it’s a very simple process. After a few minutes spent prepping the order, she mentioned off-handedly that installing the memory would be a simple process and that we wouldn’t have any problems doing so.

Being the polite fellow that I am, I decided not to point out that a) I’d already suggested this myself, and b) while talking to her on the phone, I was simultaneously balancing the motherboard of a Mac SE on my lap swapping out four 256K 30-pin SIMMs for their 1M equivalents. I figured it probably wouldn’t impress her as much as it should (“what’s an SE?”).

(There is a reason why I was upgrading a computer old enough to vote, but it’s complicated. More to come, though.)

[Billy] Poff, 51, of Charleston was westbound on Interstate 64 near the Oakwood Road exit when his truck collided with a vehicle coming the wrong way about 3:15 a.m. Saturday.

The driver of the other vehicle, Adriana Bailey, 27, of Madison died in the crash.

Seven bundles of Saturday Gazette-Mails packed into the cab of Poff’s 1974 Toyota pickup cushioned him from the tremendous impact, investigators said.

The bundles had 25 newspapers each.

“The newspapers are pretty much what saved him,” said Sgt. Shawn Williams of the Charleston Police Department’s traffic division.

Let’s see your fancy-schmancy websites and PDF editions try that!

A less common, but often very funny, category consisted of titles that were blandly explicit about their movie’s highly conventional content, like Brad Hall’s The Football Team Who Was Bad, But Then Became Good in the Championship Game. Ethan Gregory contributed Two Heterosexual Individuals Meet and Get Married, and Ryan Farrell hit a double with Stop Doing Crimes! and How Can I Prevent This Alarming Thing From Happening to Me?

(Back to writing, I promise!)

Squirrels have bitten to death a stray dog which was barking at them in a Russian park, local media report.

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A “big” stray dog was nosing about the trees and barking at squirrels hiding in branches overhead when a number of them suddenly descended and attacked, reports say.

“They literally gutted the dog,” local journalist Anastasia Trubitsina told Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper.

“When they saw the men, they scattered in different directions, taking pieces of their kill away with them.”

A local scientist is quoted as being skeptical of the attack, but the local paper notes that there’s a pine cone shortage in the area and the squirrels have “in a previous incident this autumn chipmunks terrorised cats in a part of the territory.”

Watch your backs, people. Don’t go out except in pairs. And bring nuts.